June 2012
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ilovesquidward:
the tumblr mobile app functions about as well as an egg plant
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Now when people piss me off, I’m just going to start taking my clothes off and say, “I’m going to eat your face” and they’ll assume I’m on bath salts and I’m contagious and harboring an internal flesh eating virus and they’ll leave me alone forever :)
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thewastedgeneration:
roses are red
violets are blue
will you make out with me
no why are you running away
beyoncebeytwice:
i don’t think we’re using this site the way it was intended to be used
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If you give me trail mix, I’m gonna be one happy little gerbil. Especially if it has banana chips in it.
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I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
On average, my nightly routine consists of me listening to Johnny Cash, or Cole Porter and other 20s-50s music for a few hours, then watching Full Metal Jacket multiple times. But the way I watch Full Metal Jacket is by watching the first half of it over and over again, and then watching the second half, then the full film. Every time.
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Admiring pictures of myself from last year because I was so much better looking then.
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